A Love Letter to my Husband

Dear Chinua,

Do you remember the other day, the day when I dropped you off at the SeaTac airport? Actually, do you remember a couple of hours before that? When we had the argument? After you ran into a store to get a beverage (you always say beverage, and now I've taken to saying it, and I feel like I have such a nice, large vocabulary) and you asked me what I wanted, and I said, Coca-Cola, only then you came back with nothing for me, and you said that you didn't know what I wanted, and I said "I TOLD you, I WANTED a Coca-Cola. But nevermind. I don't care." And then I asked you why you weren't getting me my Coca-Cola. And you sighed and walked back into the store, and when you came back you put my beverage on the front seat, (I was sitting in the back feeding the baby pureed squash and rice cereal) and by the time I reached around and found my beverage we were back on the freeway, and when I lifted it up, it was a Pepsi. And do you remember how I said, "Pepsi?" And you said, "It was all they had." And I said, "I can't believe you got me Pepsi! You know I hate Pepsi." And then remember how you sighed again and said, "I didn't know that, Rae!" And then I responded by icily ignoring you for five seconds and then saying, "Oh, GOSH, this is disgusting. I know that I told you I hate Pepsi. I tell you that all the time. Oh, MAN, this is so GROSS. I can't believe you don't remember how much I hate Pepsi, and not only that, I KNEW that store was too small and that you shouldn't have gone there. THIS IS REVOLTING!"

Do you remember? (How could you forget?)

So, I just wanted to tell you that what I meant to say was that I was sad that you were leaving, and I felt like I didn't want to be away from you, even though we were both excited about the chance you had to go to Israel for a couple of weeks, and that I was going to miss you.

And then do you remember how eventually I got over my Pepsi saga, and I moved into the front seat so that I could lean my head against your arm? And then you leaned your head against my head? And we drove like that for a long time?

I meant to say then that I love you. I meant to say that we match. I meant to say that you're the best friend that I have. I meant to say ten thousand wonderful things. I meant to tell someone else how I felt about you, and have you overhear it, so that you'd really know.

And do you remember how I almost forgot to hug you goodbye? How I went to jump into the driver's seat, after you had kissed the kids?

I meant to say, I can't wait until you get back. Everything is slightly less clear without you. I'll jump in the van and drive away, and in two weeks I'll be back here to find you.


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