That Kind of Day

"Ma'am? What's the name on the account?"

"It's my husband's name. Chinua."

"Is he around? We're going to have to verify with him that you're authorized to talk with us about this account."

"Well, I live on a few acres, and he's kinda all the way across the property. Working. Can't I just answer some questions for you? His birthdate? The account number? Social Security Number? Favorite pet name?"

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm going to have to speak with him."


(I run across the bridge, past the ponds, through the woodsy circle, past the playground, and up the steps of what will be our new home.)

"Chinua? Will you verify that I'm authorized to talk about this account?"

(He runs past the playground, through the woodsy circle, and onto the bridge, where he can get phone reception again. Verifies. Hands me the phone and runs back.)

"Okay, then, Ma'am. What did you need to speak with us about?"

"I need to know about your Virtual Teller Services."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'm going to have to transfer you."

"Wha-- I was just transferred to YOU!"

"Hello? What's the name on the account? I'm going to have to speak with him to verify that you are authorized... Sorry for the inconvenience."


"Kid A, even if your friend accidentally hits you on the arm with a stick while you're sword fighting, you may not throw a stick at his head. If someone hurts you, you just walk away, do you understand?"


"Okay, then. What did I say?"

"I don't know."

"If you're upset, you don't throw a stick at your friend. Just walk away."


"Okay, what did I say?"

"I don't know."

"What do you do when your friend hurts you?"


"Okay, Kid A... repeat after me. I won't throw sticks at my friends' heads..."