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Friday
Feb092007
Writing about yours truly
February 9, 2007
Mary at Owlhaven is hosting a little contest based on some writing exercises, "I Am" and "I Am From". I ran across this the other day and thought it would be fun. I always feel a little weird, writing so much about myself, but who am I kidding? This website is about me. Here it is:
I Am
I am five feet eleven inches of vertical space, taller than most women but shorter than most trees. I am the woman who said "okay" when her husband proposed, and then laughed, the one who threw sand on the beach in joy, the woman across from my man at the fire, glowing with our secret future. I am wanted, I am captured, I am wearing white under a large tree on a sunny day beside a green lake, saying "Yes."
I am bare feet among jelly fish in clear warm waters, longing eyes reaching off the back of a rumbling train, watching the giant red sun in an Indian field, shoulders swaying on the back of an elephant, a camel, a rickshaw. I am lost in the Himalayas, walking all day until my feet are raw and I fear we will never be found. I am limp in the heat of a warm Thai rain, waiting for a bowl of noodles on the side of the road. I am standing under a waterfall, I am watching the stars in the desert. I am incense, I am smoke, I am jasmine scented air. I am tossed around the earth like ashes, little pieces of me lost in places I will not see again soon.
I am shared space; it will always be written in my heart that three other people have resided with me for a time, in my own space, the warmth of my body which has grown and nurtured three young wild things, given to me but not mine. I am a mother, needed in every waking moment, my hands are always touching a person needing to be touched. I am the midnight hours, I am giving water, cleaning sick children, going without sleep. I am panicked, not knowing whether I can do this again, night after night. I am doing it. I am chapped hands from washing dishes, bent over picking up toys, breaking up quarrels, I am exhaustion, I am dull from repetition, I am safe, I am blessed.
I am the quiet space between night and morning, opening up the day with a cup of coffee and a pen. I am paint thrown onto a canvas, words wept onto a page, I am always longing, always seeking. I am a camera, I am oils, acrylics, charcoal. I am dancing while I paint, I have never felt so free. I am lonely, I am afraid, I am sad and away from my easel too often.
I am the young child who read for hours, the woman who sneaks a few chapters between lunch and nap time, the girl who told her brother and sister to "Go away, I'm reading." I am a loner surrounded by friends, I am helping, I am wanting to make you happy. I am stormy, emotional, I am too many words when I should be quiet, I am apologies.
I am from a proud gentle northern country, I am a girl who knows black ice and windchill well, chapped hands and lips and frozen toes, who knows Northern Lights and loons on lakes and prairies and forests with great wide space.
I am cupped hands, I am tossed like a flower, a well trodden street, I am known. I am hopeful, I am not alone, I am written on the palms of the hands of God, I am adopted, I am not afraid. I am loved.
I Am
I am five feet eleven inches of vertical space, taller than most women but shorter than most trees. I am the woman who said "okay" when her husband proposed, and then laughed, the one who threw sand on the beach in joy, the woman across from my man at the fire, glowing with our secret future. I am wanted, I am captured, I am wearing white under a large tree on a sunny day beside a green lake, saying "Yes."
I am bare feet among jelly fish in clear warm waters, longing eyes reaching off the back of a rumbling train, watching the giant red sun in an Indian field, shoulders swaying on the back of an elephant, a camel, a rickshaw. I am lost in the Himalayas, walking all day until my feet are raw and I fear we will never be found. I am limp in the heat of a warm Thai rain, waiting for a bowl of noodles on the side of the road. I am standing under a waterfall, I am watching the stars in the desert. I am incense, I am smoke, I am jasmine scented air. I am tossed around the earth like ashes, little pieces of me lost in places I will not see again soon.
I am shared space; it will always be written in my heart that three other people have resided with me for a time, in my own space, the warmth of my body which has grown and nurtured three young wild things, given to me but not mine. I am a mother, needed in every waking moment, my hands are always touching a person needing to be touched. I am the midnight hours, I am giving water, cleaning sick children, going without sleep. I am panicked, not knowing whether I can do this again, night after night. I am doing it. I am chapped hands from washing dishes, bent over picking up toys, breaking up quarrels, I am exhaustion, I am dull from repetition, I am safe, I am blessed.
I am the quiet space between night and morning, opening up the day with a cup of coffee and a pen. I am paint thrown onto a canvas, words wept onto a page, I am always longing, always seeking. I am a camera, I am oils, acrylics, charcoal. I am dancing while I paint, I have never felt so free. I am lonely, I am afraid, I am sad and away from my easel too often.
I am the young child who read for hours, the woman who sneaks a few chapters between lunch and nap time, the girl who told her brother and sister to "Go away, I'm reading." I am a loner surrounded by friends, I am helping, I am wanting to make you happy. I am stormy, emotional, I am too many words when I should be quiet, I am apologies.
I am from a proud gentle northern country, I am a girl who knows black ice and windchill well, chapped hands and lips and frozen toes, who knows Northern Lights and loons on lakes and prairies and forests with great wide space.
I am cupped hands, I am tossed like a flower, a well trodden street, I am known. I am hopeful, I am not alone, I am written on the palms of the hands of God, I am adopted, I am not afraid. I am loved.
in Inside My Head, Poems
Inside My Head, Poems 
Reader Comments (33)
Wow. Amazing.
Mary
Beautiful. Makes me wish I knew you.
Beautiful. I've seen the original "I am from" one around and have wanted to do it, but haven't made the time yet. I'm glad you made the time though.
Delurking to say... that was just beautiful. You better win that little contest.
Blessings.
Yes are all those things!
Sorry I meant to say - you are all those things and more!
wow rae, seriously absolutely totally beautiful.
wow
wow
wow
gorgeous writing
Oh, what a way to start my morning. Exquisite descriptions of places my humdrum existence will never take me, and beautiful words about the monotonous and mundane that we both share. "I am a loner surrounded by friends." Incredible that you've lived such a different life than I, yet we share so very much. Thank you, this post is just lovely and you've put into words many of my own thoughts that I often don't fully understand.
You are...really interesting!
And this is, I believe, my favorite one.
Bravo!
"...the warmth of my body which has grown and nurtured three young wild things, given to me but not mine."
I am going to save this for when I will have children. I have read Khalil Gibran and his poem on children but what you have writen is so beautiful.
Thank you for such a great post Rae. A saver!
Excellent. You have my vote (if there were votes...)
this is lovely. thanks for sharing!
Okay, I've read all 68 entries and you have my vote too.
Really incredible. Incredible writing. Incredible person.
Sandy.
I have never read one quite like that. Amazing Rae. That was beautiful.
your truth and essence is felt up in these northern icy waters,
oh how your words stroke me with grace and love, i love you like it was yesterday i met ya! you've allready won in my heart, I give thanks for your presence and the comunity that follows,
keep on sharing,
peace and love,
melissa
This truly drew me in. So many pieces I connect with and love.
"I am tossed around the earth like ashes, little pieces of me lost in places I will not see again soon."
"I am a loner surrounded by friends, I am helping, I am wanting to make you happy. I am stormy, emotional, I am too many words when I should be quiet, I am apologies."
I could quote the whole thing if I don't stop.
Thank you for writing this!
Absolutely beautiful. So different from the others I've read. Truly lovely.
I can relate right from the start "being taller than most women but shorter than most trees." and going on down from there. Thanks for sharing.
Here from Mary's site. This is absolutely gorgeous. I just can't even express how beautifully written this is... Thanks for sharing it.
Man, that was good! Thanks for sharing!
am in awe. this got my vote!
So beautiful! I could relate to so much of it, but I could never have worded it so beautifully. I think my favorite part is the conclusion--that you are written on God's palms. That you are known and not alone.
Thank you for taking time to write this.
Wow! What an incredible artistic masterpiece you crafted with your words! Thank you, I really enjoyed it.
[...] Saturday, February 17th, 2007 in Fun & Games You all have voted (or at least 270 of you did!) The Winner of the I AM Contest is Journey Mama. [...]