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Friday
Mar092007
Why why why?
March 9, 2007
Questions that I know the answers to:
Question: Why must the Leaf Baby crawl around the house after me, crying, no matter how many times I pick him up and cuddle him and play with him and tickle him and throw him in the air and squeeze his little legs and kiss him under his chin to make him laugh?Â
Answer: Separation anxiety. And possibly a tooth. It's normal, I know, and it will pass, but man. It's not like I want to clean the house. I'd probably actually prefer to play with the Leaf Baby all day long, he's cuter than any pile of dishes, but we would all live to regret it. And then we would die. Of food poisoning and mold poisoning and from falling over toys. And no, thanks for the suggestion, but I will not carry him in a sling, because of my neck injury. I'll just pick him up for a while and then set him down and then pick him up and then give him some more toys and then pick him up and then give him some juice, and then pick him up and kiss him, because he sure is cute.
Question: Why does the YaYa Sister call that little purple pixie skirt of hers her poopy skirt? (Mama, where's my poopy skirt? I'm wearing my poopy skirt!)
Answer: It's a long story, but basically everyone lied to me when they told me girls were easier to potty train than boys, because no, they're not, not at all. At least mine isn't. Kid A pooed once in the toilet and had a lifestyle revolution. It was as though he realized he'd been cheated all those months that he pooed and then rested in it. Where's the fun in sitting in your own poo? thunk he. I'll never poo in my nappy again. And he didn't. He was transformed, converted to the sheer beauty of flushable poo. Leafy already spent four months pooing in the toilet, from six months to ten months old, before he rebelled and lost the title of favorite child.  But YaYa, oh YaYa, needs some kind of reward other than the perfection of poo-free cheeks. She needs presents. Gifts bestowed upon her royal self. She's like, this takes a lot of time from my busy day of doing nothing but playing and eating, and you'd better make it worth it for me. Thus, her poopy skirt, just one of the trinkets and little gifts she's received for using her little pink potty. Will I be summoned to her college classes with arms full of poopy presents after a teenaged YaYa has done her business? I hope not.
Question: Why is there a big chunk of Kid A's hair sitting in the bathroom beside the tub on the floor beside a pair of hair-cutting scissors? And why is there a large bald spot on the front of his head, right at the center of his forehead, making him look like Alfalfa?
Answer: I know MOM, I KNOW why. And when I show you pictures, I know already that you'll say I looked worse, and that you got the shabbier end of the deal. But it's still pretty funny that we both took on the role of self-hairstylist at exactly the same age, isn't it?
Question: Why can't YaYa pick things up that she drops instead of yelling for me to do it? (I didn't know the answer to this one until I asked her, pointing out that she has hands to pick things up with.)
Answer: Because her fingers are gone, having flown away into the sky after turning into birds. (!!!)
Question: Why must the Leaf Baby crawl around the house after me, crying, no matter how many times I pick him up and cuddle him and play with him and tickle him and throw him in the air and squeeze his little legs and kiss him under his chin to make him laugh?Â
Answer: Separation anxiety. And possibly a tooth. It's normal, I know, and it will pass, but man. It's not like I want to clean the house. I'd probably actually prefer to play with the Leaf Baby all day long, he's cuter than any pile of dishes, but we would all live to regret it. And then we would die. Of food poisoning and mold poisoning and from falling over toys. And no, thanks for the suggestion, but I will not carry him in a sling, because of my neck injury. I'll just pick him up for a while and then set him down and then pick him up and then give him some more toys and then pick him up and then give him some juice, and then pick him up and kiss him, because he sure is cute.
Question: Why does the YaYa Sister call that little purple pixie skirt of hers her poopy skirt? (Mama, where's my poopy skirt? I'm wearing my poopy skirt!)
Answer: It's a long story, but basically everyone lied to me when they told me girls were easier to potty train than boys, because no, they're not, not at all. At least mine isn't. Kid A pooed once in the toilet and had a lifestyle revolution. It was as though he realized he'd been cheated all those months that he pooed and then rested in it. Where's the fun in sitting in your own poo? thunk he. I'll never poo in my nappy again. And he didn't. He was transformed, converted to the sheer beauty of flushable poo. Leafy already spent four months pooing in the toilet, from six months to ten months old, before he rebelled and lost the title of favorite child.  But YaYa, oh YaYa, needs some kind of reward other than the perfection of poo-free cheeks. She needs presents. Gifts bestowed upon her royal self. She's like, this takes a lot of time from my busy day of doing nothing but playing and eating, and you'd better make it worth it for me. Thus, her poopy skirt, just one of the trinkets and little gifts she's received for using her little pink potty. Will I be summoned to her college classes with arms full of poopy presents after a teenaged YaYa has done her business? I hope not.
Question: Why is there a big chunk of Kid A's hair sitting in the bathroom beside the tub on the floor beside a pair of hair-cutting scissors? And why is there a large bald spot on the front of his head, right at the center of his forehead, making him look like Alfalfa?
Answer: I know MOM, I KNOW why. And when I show you pictures, I know already that you'll say I looked worse, and that you got the shabbier end of the deal. But it's still pretty funny that we both took on the role of self-hairstylist at exactly the same age, isn't it?
Question: Why can't YaYa pick things up that she drops instead of yelling for me to do it? (I didn't know the answer to this one until I asked her, pointing out that she has hands to pick things up with.)
Answer: Because her fingers are gone, having flown away into the sky after turning into birds. (!!!)
Reader Comments (9)
Great post! I love the mad things kids say and do. It seems like your Miss Ya-Ya has a soul sister in my Daisy - a child who feels that parents are on the planet as her personal slaves. It is with great vexation that she shares us with her siblings.
YaYa's answer reminded my of my 2 year old's new favorite excuse.
Me: "Gideon, could you please pick up the cup for your brother."
G: "I can't. I don't have any hands."
Me: "You need to tell Mommy you are sorry."
G: "I can't. I don't have a mouth."
You get the picture. And, yes, he speaks like a grown-up stuck in a 2-year-old's body.
Laughing here!
"He was transformed, converted to the sheer beauty of flushable poo." I've never heard potty training described in quite so elegant and lofty a fashion.
We'll be aiming for a lifestyle revolution here with child #4 as soon as the school year winds down. I have a feeling that HRH will also require presents! I do recall that the previous trainees were bewildered at the realization that no, the practice of getting an m&m, skittle or jelly belly with each success will, in fact, NOT continue indefinitely for the rest of your life. Life's tough that way.
I know from experience, that the dishes stacked up in the sink growing things won't really kill you. It's just another one of those things used to guilt us into conforming. Not that cleanliness isn't a good thing, but as along as typhoid, colera, bubonic plague and the like aren't back in circulation again, the garden variety mold grown on dirty dishes isn't deadly. And the time missed with a child can never be replaced.
You're right - you could be bribing Ya Ya the rest of your life. I love to see those pics of Kid A - do you think it is in the genes - that haircutting thing. Perhaps I did it as well. I know that I cut my bangs real short when I was around 10 (I started a little later) and they were so short they stuck right up so maybe it is hereditary.
Show me some pics! As for Leaf - he's still cute, even though he's decided to do it in his diapers. It was nice while it lasted - on the toilet that is.
Something that I remembered that might prove it's hereditary is that Child #3 decided to cut his little girlfriends hair - she had beautiful, long black hair, and came from a very fine spanish family. He decided to make it like his and he had a buzz job - you could hear the screams down the street of her mother when she saw her daughter's hair. Remember that?
Oh wow, this post really takes me back to the toddler days. Funny now in hindsight that we had to threaten to NOT ALLOW our princess to turn 3 (which involved if I remember right a barbie cake, a few big girl presents and the right to tell people that she's now "fwee yeeeers ode") if she didn't start acting 3 by pooping in the potty. The threat was handed down the DAY BEFORE her big day and that was the last poop I had do deal with from her...well aside from the whole butt-wiping thing but that's another story. (also funnier in hindsight-no pun intended) Just goes to show she could do it all along but we had not made it worthwhile for her to try!
I think I found Ya Ya's birds today. There was lots of chirping going on in our back yard and I was wondering where they all came from. They were celebrating a little early spring thundershower coming in.
Aren't kids great! They make us all remember the magic and mysteries of life.
your blog has inspired me to share a story about diapper free, take what makes you smile and leave the rest.....
I don't miss the poopy pee pee days, I have an interesting experience similar, My eldest Laksmi who is six wasn't fully poopy trained until she was four or five, every once in a while she would have an ' accident' I was going crazy, "wasn't this supposed to stop at two years old?"
I took her to natural and aliopathic doctors and they told me that there was nothing physiclaly wrong, just that it really was she was having so much fun or so interested in what she was doing she was holding it in, and to the point where you can't hold it in any more, This was all starting at like three, three is a special age, and these kids really blossomed at this turning point, into very willful and inquisitive beings..... Now Laksmi was tough for me with the poop and pee - a diapper baby, cloth sometimes but we went pullups at like two and by three was in undies,
My theory is i didn't give her enough confidence early on so she developed a tendancy to not pay attention, and it wouldn't really bother her, it would only bother her if i got upset of course,
What a completely different story with my my younger daughter who is turning four, she was raised 'diapper free' and that helped us tremendously, to tune into when she was going and hear her cues, paying more attention to her diet, that kinda thing...
I have to admit the whole diapper free thing was scarry at first, but then i watched other parents doing it and before i knew it my partner commited to diapper free before the baby was born, and if it wasn't for him i don't think i'd a had faith in the idea of poo and pee everywhere!I learned to really love and embrace her bodily functions and that they were normal and constantly flowing so i better get used to it!
Those were some of the most wonderful moments of our lives, sharing in the joy of watching her go just a few days old, pulling over at the sid of the road when she cried or got a bit anxious, or holding her bottom over the grass in summer time..
I learned that by six months i knew exactly when she had to go, and it was cool to wear 'undies'
and soon i noticed that she wasn't even wetting the bed at night--- after six months!!! simply by taking her for a pee in the morning and not putting anything on her at night,
she developed a routine and rythm we could follow her lead, by ten months she could walk to the potty, And now she is like an angel about it, (it's just washing the hands that's the main concern for me!)
I think she felt so empowered to do it and we shared the experience with her, plus we showed her how to do it, we used a compost toilet in the summer which was fun, i think she developed more confidence in her ability to tune in with her body, and she learned that poop is stinky and (with cloth diappers for back up )you can really feel and experience the utter unpleasantness of poo and pee more, it's not disposable..it;s wet, stinky and sticky,
I learned that with kids they can be quite regulated if you follow those rythms, they seem to go at a similar time of day frequently, and if you give your child some form of natural laxitive before bed, in the morning they can get it out and over with so it's done for the day and you feel great, I suggest some flax oil or something at night, then they know when to expect it... and it becomes part of the day to go and do it, ....
I am a diapper free hippy freak i know, some of my friend think its crazy, but i swear by it! It really is fascinating actually, I think kids learn to crap thier pants if we teach them from birth to use diappers... they have inherantly learned that, so in a sense we are un learning what they have been accustomed too... and they could think it's nice that mom cleans it up, it's
been there, done that... don't worry they get so big so fast you'll miss these moments,(you already know that i'm sure) I am allways the first to offer to change my friends kids buts, they love it, it's been a couple years or more since i've had to with my kids so what the heck!!!
underwear is a nice reward if you're into the reward thing...
Oh and my daughter Revati just cut her hair in the front gave herself a mullit last december, and i gave her a pixie, she had the sweetest blond curls, and now again she's cut it! it's always something,
life is full of surrender!
happy pooping!