9. It doesn't chew your shoes or the couch cushions.
8. They lied. A calendar is man's best friend.
7. There are photos of animals that work a lot harder than a puppy in our calendar.
6. It will hang on your wall. It isn't humane to hang a puppy on the wall.
5. It won't peepee on the floor.
4. You can turn the pages. Puppies don't have pages.
3. Buying a puppy will not feed our children.
2. It won't bite you.
And the number one reason to buy our calendar rather than a puppy:
1. No training necessary. You don't have to sit and look at it daily, yelling sit! Come! Stay! and all that rubbish.
Don't say I didn't warn you.