Well, I did cry pretty hard before Matty left.

I sort of fell apart.

But then I got in the taxi to go with him to the airport.

We talked along the way.  I have a good brother.

On the way home I thought a lot about life, and how we find ourselves in places that are unexpected.

I thought about moving.  I thought about quiet, and peace, and about joyous chaos, which seems to be the state of my life, lately.

I thought about how isolated it makes me feel when people react as though I have two heads when they see how many children I have.  And then I thought about how much I love my brother- how it felt like a chunk of me was going to sleep again when he went away, and I thought about YaYa feeling that way about Kid A or Leafy or Solo when she's older.

Suddenly everything seemed right again.

The shape of the sun's light inspired me, and I worked on my book a bit, in the quiet car as we drove the long drive to get home.

We meditated on this verse yesterday morning:

You will keep him in perfect peace,

whose mind is stayed on You,

because he trusts in You.

Trust in the Lord forever,

for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength.

Isaiah 26:3 and 4

I could sit and let these words sing through me all day long.