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Thursday
Feb212008
A mountain
February 21, 2008 
Rae and YaYa, originally uploaded by journeymama.Tonight we drove out as far as we could (okay, not as far as we could) to see the eclipse. It was wonderful, except for the occasional whine from a child who was JUST SO COLD. I would love to see these children in an actual winter climate. Although they would probably contrarily be ecstatic.
Anyways, even Leafy said, "The moon is so boodiful!" And we saw Saturn. And I showed Kid A and YaYa Orion, which has always been my favorite constellation, ever since it was my connection to Chinua, when we were thousands of miles away from each other, long before we were married. I would sit on the beach in San Diego and listen to the waves and when I saw Orion, I would breathe a prayer for my friend, the man who would one day become my husband.
There is a reason that I reposted this old picture. And it's not because I'm really admiring that knit head band thingy (where IS that thing? I really LIKE it) but because I have never been more proud of YaYa than I was today.
Because today she wore a sock on her hand all day.
She has sucked those two fingers ever since she was about four months old. We have numerous pictures of YaYa as a baby, YaYa as a toddler, YaYa as a three-year-old, sucking her fingers. She does it ALL. THE. TIME. Not just for bed, not just for consolation. ALL THE TIME.
But I have this funny list of things I need to do before we go to India. Things like, Find storage, Find a good shipping company, Train next bookkeeper, Buy sleeping bags, Buy kid back packs, Buy stroller. And then these odd things like Help YaYa stop sucking her fingers, Potty train Leafy.
And you can guess which one we are working on today.
I really didn't know how it would make me feel. I didn't realize that my rush-in-and-protect instincts would swarm all over me and smother me and almost make me say "Never mind! Just joking! You can just keep those fingers in your mouth until your boss complains!"
I didn't say it.
It is time, and my brave, strong girl met the time to quit head on. Her teeth are visibly shifting. And I completely do not want her touching things on trains and buses in India and then putting her fingers in her mouth. Nope.
I also didn't know that I would almost burst with pride. That I would see her thousand little reflexive moves toward her mouth, and then the stifling of the reflex, and then the hand that didn't have a place to be and so tentatively lay in her lap, and her mouth moving self-consciously around itself, that I would see all these things and my heart would melt, for her strength.
I don't know that I've ever witnessed as much determination in overcoming something so deeply ingrained, in any of my kids before. This is no small thing. She doesn't remember ever not having this habit. It's all she's known. When at rest, left fingers go into your mouth. When you are hugging your mom, when you are reading a book, when you are watching a movie, when you are walking through a crowd...
This is her mountain. I love to be here to see her climb it. (Even though I am a nervous twitchy wreck.)
Reader Comments (15)
Oh that is so sweet, and wonderful. Thanks for sharing that.
Um, just so you know, totally made me a bit weepy. Beautiful, just like Ya-Ya.
Ummm. Growing up. If she tires of wearing a sock, my oldest used a band-aid on his thumb as a reminder. Apparently, band-aids taste bad.
Wow, that really IS huge. My 4 year old still sucks a pacifier at night, and my 3 year old is a hard-and-fast thumbsucker. I'm really not sure how I'll break them of their habits. I tried once to help Elizabeth break the pacifier habit and she wasn't ready. But the odd thing is, even though I was so proud of her attempt, I was sad when she packed them away to give to the "Pacifier Fairy". I even cried. Because I knew a part of her would be missing, a little endearing trait that I didn't realize I loved would be gone forever. (OK, 2 weeks was all either of us could stand, what with the not sleeping and all.)
Is it possible I was as equally comforted by her habit as she was?
Anyway, good luck to YaYa, and much strength to you (just in case you find yourself crying for some inexplicable reason...) :)
Give her a hug from Grandpa and me..... that is so amazing. She is a brave girl, and an overcomer. Keep on going! It's one of the hardest things of parenting doing something that's good for your kids and knowing it's hard on them.
Go, YaYa!
Our just turned 7 year old JUST gave up his thumb. Just one day, he said, "I dunno, I'm just done with it". I did cry. It wasn't a battle for him, as far as I can tell, but it is such a passage for me. This thumb has been in his mouth since in utero. I know. I have pictures.
Good bravery, Ya Ya. And Mama.
What a tremendous thing for her - such strength.
So, proud of her. I may have to use your idea on LuLu. They won't be finger sucking twins anymore.
It really is sad for me. I feel a little bit lost. I think I feel worse than she does. But I am also so glad for the opportunity to see her achieve something hard.
I'd like to find ways to provide more opportunities for achievement for my kids. I'm sure they'll come along, though.
I was watching the eclipse with my kids and my neighbor who moved here from India two months ago, it was -20 outside! What a sacred sight to share, sounds like you enjoyed it thoroughly,
Yaya sounds like an amazing and self determined spirit! I am a firm believer that kids overcome things when they are ment too, we can pry, push, teach, and want them to move on but they know when it's time, and it seems like she is awakening to the new world of a finger free mouth, Indeed a good thing for india!
i think you are providing such a blessed and awakening opportunity for your children to achieve great hieghts, spiritually, emotionally and materially by loving them unconditionally as you do, i see this in your words travels and smiles... That picture is my favorite one you have posted, okay next to the one with the frog bowl, that one's just great too.
My kids had pacifiers because i was not so awake at that time in my life, and eventually they would throw it at me sending me a big message! Now Revati grates her teeth at night, and i pray this will pass too, in thyme,
I think you may find that when you land in india the potty training thing will really happen gracefully, diapper free is like a way of existence there, many moms in that culture have never used diappers, This could be a very real future for your new little one too! Anyway you look at it all these little accomplishments are big ones and symbolize so much love and nourishment that you provide..
okay that was long but you got me all teary with this post yet again!
I sucked my two middle fingers on my right hand when I was a kid. When I was really young I think it was all the time. As I got older it was just at night. I didn't stop altogether until about 1st grade.
I'm proud of 'YaYa' for being willing to stop
this is beautiful writing rae. and what a tremendous accomplishment for her. i love that you paid so close attention to her efforts.
Go, Ya-Ya, go! You can do it, you precious rock star princess little girl you!
(really, a big deal. bless her precious heart.)
A friend of mine used a glove (instead of sock) with the fingers cut off for the pinkie, pointer, and thumb.