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Tuesday
Aug052008
Dear YaYa Sister,
August 5, 2008 
Yesterday you asked one of the sweetest questions I’ve ever heard.
“Where did we start?” you asked, and then furrowed your brow and thought a little.
“Where were you when Kid A came out?”
Where did we start? Such a rich question. We talked for a long time about how Kid A was born in a little town far north in California, and how you were born when we lived with lots of people in San Francisco, and how Leafy was born when we lived at the Land.
You love to talk about this.
I’m writing this letter just because that question struck my heart, and because of what shone through you today.
I had to go on some lame bank errand which involved going from bank to bank searching for the right services. You wanted to come with me, even though it was raining. It’s not raining very MUCH, you told me, putting your raincoat on. Even the fact that we were going by scooter did not deter you.
And I think I’ve never been happier. Riding along in the rain with my girl child on the scooter, both of us getting soaked, you turned to look up at me and grinned, not at all perturbed by the rain. You kept me company in each bank, you were polite to all the people who wanted to talk to you, and you kissed me a few hundred times, just to remind me that you were there, that you love me.
I see a lot of me in you. You are always searching for beauty, and when you point small things out to me I see the way that my eyes are often scanning the hillsides, looking for those elusive wildflowers. You find beauty everywhere. You love the gaudy tinselly things hanging from the ceilings of most of the places of business here. “OH, I LOVE that pink one,” you sigh, eyes locked on a burped up metallic explosion dangling from a ceiling tile.
When we walk outside, stepping around a few strewn pieces of trash and over some steel rebar lying in the road, you look up. “Flowers!” you call, exhaling happily and pointing at some wilting garland looped over the doorway.
Later, when we’re home, you collapse in tears over the prospect of walking on the floor in the bathroom, damp from someone taking a shower. (The bathrooms here have an open space for showers, no separation.)
I think of you happily looking up at me, your face covered in rain, and think that I will never fully understand you. I don’t think I have to. I’m so glad to be riding around with a small girl on my bike, I’m bursting with pride over you. I’m glad that this little clan started somewhere, in a small town in the far North of California, not so long ago.
I love you.
Your Mama.
Reader Comments (18)
She's our YaYa and her unpredictibility is what is so endearing about her. Her enthusiasm for life, even a meltdown over the floor is wonderful....although you might not think so at the time of the meltdown. Give her a hug from me!
What a beautiful blog, which stands to reason given a beautiful woman, family and home. Glad I happened upon your blog, I'll be back!
Beautiful girl. Beautiful post.
this post was so infused with beauty that it sent a whisper chill through me, that white zing of electricity when something is so good and so true. it brought tears in my eyes.
blessings to you and your clan.
(and the bottom photo of you and YaYa is stunning. as is the top photo :)
What a lucky daughter. What a lucky mother.
Beautiful.
-H
So so nice. Your daughter will read this when she's older and be so touched and feel so loved. I'm sure she already feels loved now, but at that point, when she's older, she'll be truly conscious of it in a way that's hard to be at 4 years old.
After reading your blog for a few months, this post -by far- is my favorite. I agree with Noha; what a fabulous thing for your little girl to read when she's older.
Your blog is so refreshing. I love popping over here every now and then. I LOVE your pics and I so appreciate your posts. Thank you for this little window into your beautiful life.
Yes, indeed. A beautiful life with eyes to see. Blessings to your little clan.
I agree with Maggie Ann...this totally gave me the chills. Reading what you wrote made me fall even more madly in love with my own little girl...I can relate to so much of what you described. Thank you. Love the photos too...the one of you both on the porch is timeless and beautiful. xxoo
jai to the goddessence love! i felt very moved,/chilled, glowing fuzzy warm things all over for dear darling daughters after reading this too, and the photo's are transcendental, full of bliss, knowledge, and love, thanks,
this experience you are sharing with your family is very moving and delightful, expanding family like lotus petals opening
I love this post! Both pictures are lovely, and it's fun to get glimpses of where you're living in India. You two are adorable on your front steps.
beautiful picture of the two of you
Beautiful picture on the steps--you two look gorgeous.
Ah Rae, so beautiful!!
Kid A is a splendid Photographer.
This post was so beautiful that my heart swelled.
What beautiful writing. Ya Ya has always been able to make me melt. you do such a good job seeing and noticing all the small details in your days and write down such beautiful moments that most people don't even notice.
I love it that you can see your backyard from your front door. I think the picture that he took is great.
Give him a big huge aunty sized hug for me. (one for everyone else aswell)