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Thursday
Oct152009
Something I know is true
October 15, 2009
There is so much work to be done, especially in a family of six. It almost never stops. When one load of laundry is taken off the line, another is ready to go on. When one meal is cleaned up, it's almost time to begin the next. Sometimes we work very hard for leisure, also (as any mama knows who has gone camping).
A woman can work very hard. She can organize and make lists, and she can tidy and straighten and wash and reorganize and dunk her baby in a bath and dress him and put him to bed.
But not all of a woman is made to work. The soul of a woman contains so much more- there is a girl-child inside, ready to play! Sometimes the girl-child is upset, because there has been no time to play, no time to laze around and read on a window seat on a rainy day.
But there is work to do. So, there must be a way to bring the two together! Surely God did not make us to forget how to be children (Jesus suggested the very opposite when He said, "Unless you become like children, you will not see the Kingdom of God") and surely He is not a great taskmaster, always hovering and waiting for us to account for ourselves.
My dear friend in Varanasi said to me, when we talking of this very thing, of making pots and pots of chai and running around and serving and hosting, "But what about the Girl inside?!" Other people may forget the girl-child, but I don't think we should forget her. And if you are a man, you should not forget your boy-child. Actually, this is one of my favorite things about my husband. The small boy that he was is always lingering just below the surface, so close that sometimes they are one and the same. Sometimes that boy bursts through (often!) and rolls on the floor laughing or picks up a sword to play with the kids. I want to be like this.
And yet, the children who are children both on the inside and the outside, they need to eat!
So. I am making a list of ways to play while I work. Tomorrow I will show you my list. I think I will illustrate it and put it somewhere in my house, somewhere I will not forget it. It is necessary, for my survival, as a woman, a girl-child, and a seeker of the Kingdom of God.
A woman can work very hard. She can organize and make lists, and she can tidy and straighten and wash and reorganize and dunk her baby in a bath and dress him and put him to bed.
But not all of a woman is made to work. The soul of a woman contains so much more- there is a girl-child inside, ready to play! Sometimes the girl-child is upset, because there has been no time to play, no time to laze around and read on a window seat on a rainy day.
But there is work to do. So, there must be a way to bring the two together! Surely God did not make us to forget how to be children (Jesus suggested the very opposite when He said, "Unless you become like children, you will not see the Kingdom of God") and surely He is not a great taskmaster, always hovering and waiting for us to account for ourselves.
My dear friend in Varanasi said to me, when we talking of this very thing, of making pots and pots of chai and running around and serving and hosting, "But what about the Girl inside?!" Other people may forget the girl-child, but I don't think we should forget her. And if you are a man, you should not forget your boy-child. Actually, this is one of my favorite things about my husband. The small boy that he was is always lingering just below the surface, so close that sometimes they are one and the same. Sometimes that boy bursts through (often!) and rolls on the floor laughing or picks up a sword to play with the kids. I want to be like this.
And yet, the children who are children both on the inside and the outside, they need to eat!
So. I am making a list of ways to play while I work. Tomorrow I will show you my list. I think I will illustrate it and put it somewhere in my house, somewhere I will not forget it. It is necessary, for my survival, as a woman, a girl-child, and a seeker of the Kingdom of God.
Reader Comments (19)
I used to struggle with this too. After I had cancer something changed and now I find all those chores 'fun'--they seem like play to me. Because there is always 'work' to do, I have fun all day long!! I imagine people think I am a boring not so creative person, but I love the ordinary day and find it delights me.
But I wasn't always like that-- and I didn't evolve into this way of thinking/being. I "learned' it. I oft think of what the Apostle Paul declared "I have learned to be content, in whatsoever state I am in".
A child's work is play. And an adult's work is his 'play' so to speak. And play he will, unless he resents the task at hand. Even a tinge of resentment will cause it to be a drudge.
We adults have to work at kicking out even the tiniest thought that hints of wishing we could be doing other than the work at hand. While it may be true that we'd rather be doing something else, we must deny any feeling of discontent the freedom to exercise itself in our heart.
"Search me Oh God, and know my heart". Why? Because my heart--the heart of man-- is deceitful above all else, and desperately wicked. Please God, shine a light into its recesses and reveal to me my true state.
I discovered that when I would ignore my feelings of discontent and redirect them-- say 'oh goody I get to do the laundry" or "oh goody I get to mop the floor" or "oh goody I get to do a million and one things today"--note I say 'get' because, after all, I'd survive cancer--my feelings would change, they followed my thinking. That which I'd dreaded or felt to be a chore became a privilege, a blessing in itself.
I was changed by transforming my mind. When I lay there, in that hospital bed with cancer, I thought about all my pettiness, my murmurrings, and realized I was akin to those wanderers in the wilderness and I wept sorely and told God I was so sorry..and I vowed to myself that if God did indeed spare me I would never ever again despise the daily grind.
I do understand your longing. I have other things I love to do as well as mopping and cleaning, and cooking. But they are all good, they are all play--and if my assigned play for the day does not involve rubberstamping crafts, which I love -- then so be it!! God has a plan and He designed my curriculum and there will always be time to do what he has given me to do, and to do it with joy, as if it were play.
"I can" became my motto, my mantra, do everything God desires me to do this day, and to do it with joy as if it were play. And that which I am not able to do, is not part of his plan. So be it.
I apologize for this lengthy comment. Now I must go and have some fun--today my play is to mop floors.
Rae, you are a treasure and I am certain you adore your family and delight in caring for them. Some days are harder than others, aren’t they.... but as you wait patiently on the Lord and learn even more of Him, you will be given ‘wings’--you will mount up and soar.
Amen, sister.
Playtime sounds real good right now.
This is so true, and something I try to remember.
Sometimes I pretend I'm filming a documentary on whatever task I'm doing, and narrate it like I'm The Crocodile Hunter
Somtimes, when I make lasagna, I pretend I'm a ninja and break the noodles on my forehead while making a terrifying face, and yelling "Hiya!"
Great thoughts. I can't wait to see the list!
A list of ways to play--I like that. It's too easy to lose the balance and become "all work"--especially when kids are involved.
Dinah Soar, I really appreciate your comment, and I feel like a lot of it is in the same vein as what I am saying. However, I feel that for me it is less about discontentment, and more about learning that being a good girl is not about having every thing on my "to do list" done, or having every part of my schedule fit perfectly together.
Being who God made me to be is actually to BE a child, and it is more this state of being that I am pursuing, than running away for a day (although that is fun too).
I do think we have to deny ourselves, of course. But where we are actually longing for good things, we have to work really hard to fight against the idea that we are not worth finding playtime.
I've been working on this for a long time. If I'm frustrated in my relationship with my husband, my response is always, "But I work so hard!" I want to work to make my groundnote love, rather than hard work, justifying myself by my work. That's not what I hear you saying, but I wanted to show you the spirit of my post about play.
I've always identified with Martha in the story of Mary and Martha. Now I am beginning to understand that what Jesus was telling Martha is that we are not only workers, in our souls. That there is so much more, and that he sees it and that we can work together to make room for it.
and Sheryl, I'm sorry, but the Crocodile Hunter is one of the best ideas ever- I may have to use it in my list.
It's so easy as adults to forget how to play. I totally agree. There's an ad on the radio station here now that talks about the importance of play, and that play is not the opposite of work, but the opposite of depression, that we need to play to stay sane, I guess. I like Sheryl's response. Also with lists, there should be an immediate "to do list" such as cook, bathe the baby, but then other stuff can go on a less important list.... Sometimes I ask myself what importance this will have in the total scheme of things, whether it will be remembered. Your love and what you show others, is so much more important than a perfect house.
I'm hoping you learn to play again! Roll on the floor with your husband the next time he does it.
I love this! I have been squishing my inner girl-child into a tight little corner so as to make room for other VERY IMPORTANT things on my to-do list. When I wake in the middle of the night I can feel her distress!
"I was changed by transforming my mind." I really do like this quote from Dinah, because I have found it to be true. Right now I am changing my mind to realize that "God is my home". All that deep longing I sometimes have that I want to be home, even if I am at home, is really my longing for God. Wow, and just think with God as my home all is perfect, theoretically speaking. But as to your play. .... You go girl.
I was just talking(crying) to my husband about this last night!!! I look forward to seeing your list!! Thank you for sharing, I felt like I should just suck it up and make the "girl child" die. But no I will find a way to bring out in my work :)
I should have read the previous posts. I am totally doing the Crocodile Hunter !!! and I think I will incoporate accents into most every boring thing I do!! It will make it fun and make my husband laugh :) Rachel, thank you again for your blog. I tell my friends about how much it blesses me. There are people here in Asheville supporting you in prayer.
Adults should never forget how to play because kids are watching. My girl-children need to see that she never left as I grew. Same with my boys.
Otherwise, who would want to be an adult? That's how Neverland is born, and it isn't a healthy place.
Oh I want playtime, too!
I love your comment about working for leisure, camping...oh my gosh....camping....I feel an anxiety headache forming as I type that word.
Looking forward to seeing your list in your next post. Of course, I didn't play much even when I really was a girl-child. I remember wanting to be left alone with a good book...and it's hard to do anything else but read when your reading. Bummer.
Rachel!! Great post girl! Can hardly wait to see your list. Love you so so much.
Oh yes. Let's PLAY.
[...] How are you treating your inner girl-child? [...]
Great post...this is right on. I see the same thing in my husband. Always the little boy is right there. I always figured that was just the difference between him and me. But then I see times where the little girl is right there...just trying to shine through. Like when I make bread in the shape of flowers for the kids for their sandwiches, or when I make them a snack of rice cakes with peanut butter and then make a face out of bananas and raisins and dried cherries. That kind of thing is such fun for me.
But Sheryl up there...she's got it goin on! I am making lasagna later this week. The noodles don't stand a chance. :) I like the croc hunter idea, too...I can see that happening 'round here real soon.