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Monday
Nov232009
Day Twenty-three: In the Sand
November 23, 2009
The other day, Leafy drew a picture of me in the sand while we were on the beach, and it looked like this:
I so badly wished I had a camera.
His picture was much better than my rendition, and it was drawn in sand with his finger, which was priceless. He told me it was me looking up.
You know how there are the natural swings of motherhood; the days of clumsiness and grief, and the days of moment after perfect moment? Or, in actuality, they are much more connected than that... Leafy draws a portrait of me that stuns me with its grace, and then he cries all the way home because there is sand on his belly. YaYa is so much a little girl that I catch myself staring at her, open-mouthed, because the very fact of her being a little girl makes me feel more free, but then she cries all the way home because I let Kid A take a turn pushing the stroller.
Sigh.
And then I see them bend together to lift the stroller over the loose sand, puzzling out a problem for themselves and finding a way, and I believe again that the shining moments are much more weighty than the others.
Update on the confusing am I or am I not a preschool issue: I think we have it cleared up now. Chinua was pretty clear (stronger than me? less apologetic?) when the lady got back on the day she dropped her son off, that a) we are not babysitters, and b) she should call before she brings her son over, but they are welcome to come and play. Together.
I think it was a combination of a) a language barrier, b) the fact that many foreigners here *do* open up kindergartens for other international kids, c) the fact that I homeschool my kids, something that is not done in many countries and is very strange to some people, d) the fact that someone TOLD her that I had a school, and e) her own boundary issues. But she is very sweet, and I'm glad we have it straight now. It was just funny there for a minute, because on the phone, I'd be saying "I am not a babysitter. I do not have a preschool. I do not babysit other people's kids." and she'd say, "Maybe we can talk about it when I come to your school." Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. At one point, I said to Chinua, "Maybe I should just open a preschool."
This is the way my brain works, which is why it's good for me to have people around who say, "Rae, you really don't want to do that." And then I say, "Oh, you're right. I don't."
I so badly wished I had a camera.
His picture was much better than my rendition, and it was drawn in sand with his finger, which was priceless. He told me it was me looking up.
You know how there are the natural swings of motherhood; the days of clumsiness and grief, and the days of moment after perfect moment? Or, in actuality, they are much more connected than that... Leafy draws a portrait of me that stuns me with its grace, and then he cries all the way home because there is sand on his belly. YaYa is so much a little girl that I catch myself staring at her, open-mouthed, because the very fact of her being a little girl makes me feel more free, but then she cries all the way home because I let Kid A take a turn pushing the stroller.
Sigh.
And then I see them bend together to lift the stroller over the loose sand, puzzling out a problem for themselves and finding a way, and I believe again that the shining moments are much more weighty than the others.
Update on the confusing am I or am I not a preschool issue: I think we have it cleared up now. Chinua was pretty clear (stronger than me? less apologetic?) when the lady got back on the day she dropped her son off, that a) we are not babysitters, and b) she should call before she brings her son over, but they are welcome to come and play. Together.
I think it was a combination of a) a language barrier, b) the fact that many foreigners here *do* open up kindergartens for other international kids, c) the fact that I homeschool my kids, something that is not done in many countries and is very strange to some people, d) the fact that someone TOLD her that I had a school, and e) her own boundary issues. But she is very sweet, and I'm glad we have it straight now. It was just funny there for a minute, because on the phone, I'd be saying "I am not a babysitter. I do not have a preschool. I do not babysit other people's kids." and she'd say, "Maybe we can talk about it when I come to your school." Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. At one point, I said to Chinua, "Maybe I should just open a preschool."
This is the way my brain works, which is why it's good for me to have people around who say, "Rae, you really don't want to do that." And then I say, "Oh, you're right. I don't."
Reader Comments (10)
When I think back to when my kids were small, the shining moments are what I remember. Sometimes they were so bright I couldn't appreciate them until I was standing in the shadows.
LOL. The preschool incident made me laugh ...
The preschool thing made me laugh, too.
I am always reminding myself that this IS what life is. This IS the good stuff, despite the arguments and problems. On that note, I am off to homeschool my own 3 kids who are wrestling in the family room...
I remember one of my daughters drew a picture of me, facing away (into the picture). I was *thin* (which I am not, really), I had a paintbrush in my hand, a basket of unfolded laundry off the the side, and I was looking up at the sky, painting the stars! I framed that picture, and still gain much inspiration from it. I am so inspired by your ability to see so much loveliness in your life. It took me so long to be able to do that, and I still struggle.
All of your children are endlessley creative - i wish you had had your camera too!
abs x
I love Leafy's drawing. Love it. love it. Great post.
I think Leafy likes to draw as well. Then there are the wonderful ones that YaYa has done. It's funny how swiftly moods swing in children, isn't it? I guess it's because they live in the "moment".
Miss all of you...have Matty here with me right now though, so that's cool
PS I love that picture - it's so you!
Happy Thanksgiving Rae!
YOU are on my list of "thankfuls".
nice website good read