Things I didn't realize I'd have to teach them

Two years is a long time:

YaYa: "Grandma, what does that thing do?" (Over the loud noise of the vacuum.)

My mom: "It vacuums."

YaYa: "What's vacuums?"

My mom: "It sucks up the dirt."

YaYa: (Running into the next room to continue her conversation with Kid A.)  "Kid A!  Kid A!  It sucks up the dirt!  It sucks up the dirt!)

They then followed my mom from room to room, pointing as small things disappeared into the vacuum cleaner.


YaYa to me: "Mom!  There wasn't any trash can in the bathroom, so I had to throw my toilet paper in the toilet!"

Me: "You're supposed to do that every time here, honey."

YaYa: "REALLY?  What?  WHY?"


"No, you don't suck the water out of the water fountain.  You just sort of hover over it, and let the water flow into your mouth."

(Next child)

"No!  Stop putting your mouth on the spigot!  Just let the water go in."

(Time passes)

"Yeah... but you have to swallow it as it goes in, not just let it flow back out..."


Leafy: "Mama!  What are you putting THAT in the cereal for?"

Me: (Staring blankly at the gallon milk jug for a moment.)  "This is milk, Leafy."

Leafy: "That's milk?  Ha ha hahahahahaha!"  (Lot's of laughing ensues- our milk comes in 500 ml bags.)


Leafy:  "What are you doing to the dishes?"

Me: "This is a dishwasher.  It's a machine. I'm turning it on to wash the dishes."

Leafy: "What?  A machine washes dishes?  Ha hahahaha hahahahaha!"


Lady at the crosswalk, kindly, to YaYa: "Do you want to push the button, sweetie?"

YaYa: "Button?  What button?"

Me: "This button.  It lets us walk across."

YaYa: "It lets us walk? What do you mean?"

Me: "Oh, if you push it it the man light will come on... (crowd forming at the corner) Listen, just put your finger here and push."

Lady at the crosswalk, darting glances at us: "..."


Countless questions:

Why do you mix that juice with water? (It's concentrate.)

What are these plates made of? (They're ceramic.)

What's that thing under the stove? (An oven.)


And Kid A: "I was pretty sure we'd never find our way out of that store." (It was a Value Village.  Here's hoping he never sees the inside of a Walmart.)


As for me, I'm doing pretty good.  Trying to make some decisions, which is never easy for me. And yesterday and today I drove my mom's car, driving for the first time since we got here.  It's been mostly okay, considering that I'm switching back to the other side of the road.  Strangely enough, the hardest part has been the turning signals.  I'm constantly turning the windshield wipers on or signaling the wrong direction.  But I'm getting there.

Chinua and I went on a date last night, and the kids had a blast with their grandparents.  We had a good time too, eating sushi.  Need I say more?  SUSHI!  Oh I love it.