In my heart today.

If you have ever tripped over a big stone in the street

and made an involuntary, undignified grunt,

or stepped on your skirt going up the stairs, lurching like a buffalo

or snorted your juice out of your nose, laughing

in front of people you barely know.

If you have fallen off your bike,

or been launched off your rickshaw into traffic

(much to the hilarity of teenaged boys watching)

If you have muttered to yourself when you turn around

realizing you are going the wrong way

(saying, oh, actually, I was going the other way- just in case anyone is watching)

If you have said stupid things to your children

(like, if you don't like my food I guess I'm never cooking for you again!)

and regretted it

If you lie down on your bed on your face sometimes

lie there and cry because you are not what you want to be

your life is not what you want it to be

you are still small and clumsy

newborn and old,

If you stub your toe in the dark, bump your head hard, and feel

angry and sad and five years old...

I love you at that moment.

and not only me.

His soft breath is all around you.

In fact, that may be when you are closest to the very heart of God.

when you are clumsy, newborn and old.

Comments

[kirida]

This is beautiful!

[ElleBee]

Lovelovelovelovelove. That is all.

[Svenna]

That brought tears to my eyes - thank you for sharing your beautiful words

[Darlene]

Thank you. I think I need to put that up on my wall so I remember.

[blackbird]

Thank you.

[Rae]

You're welcome. And thank you.

[#1mama]

That is so amazing - so true, and He must be close to so many of us.....some of us who stumble through life, falling down a lot (me), both physically and spiritually. I thought of the many times when I've been walking along, tripped or walked wrongly and all of a sudden I'm on my face on the pavement - that's a hard one to make look like you really wanted to be there.

Love this blog. Thanks for sharing it. It made me laugh and made me think.

[Rebeca]

I needed this today... thank you.

[Tj]

Wonderfully amazing

[Marci]

Breathtaking.

[Karen]

Beautiful.

[Elsa]

Love this.

[Rachel]

I couldn't help but chuckle and laugh out loud as I read this because, as I read each line--save for the rickshaw moment--I identified and relived those instances wearing the surprised, goofy, slightly embarresed grin I would have then. Of course, the later lines struck right to the heart as well. Thanks for sharing.

[leaf]

Instant goosebumps and tears welling up. Love!

[ailin]

oh, i felt a tingle reading that. Just beautiful really.

[carrien (she laughs at the days)]

And I love you in those moments, so so so so much.

[Paola]

You wrote this on my birthday. WHat a gift! Thank you, I'll save it if you don't mind ...

[Tonya]

Really, really lovely prose.

[Charlotte]

Thank you. Words, well placed, honestly and beautifully written, are one of the best balms. You just gave such great words to the human experience, and I think when we read your writing, we all feel less alone. Thanks for the reminder.

[onthewalkhome.com]

Thanks for your poetry and for the glimpse into your life you give through this blog. I've read for a number of years now but haven't been brave enough to comment. Just wanted to say I appreciate your words and have grown to love your family! Looking forward to reading your book! God bless you.