A little bit sick

I am not well.

Same old stuff kicking me in the butt. (Social anxiety- it throws me into a tailspin. Today it was triggered by saying Yes to something I really wanted to say No to, and all the fear that incurred. Even though it was something so little, a neighbor wanting to borrow my bike when really I wanted to use it, it is the fact that I can't tell someone that, can't say no, that starts it all up.)

Chinua says I'm getting better.

I don't know that I believe him. The worst part is how angry I get with myself. How broken down I feel. I wish I had a different disposition. I wish I were not me.

Anyways. These are tough days.

But I know that I need to retreat a bit, and pray, and find silence and grace. And then I will be back. With some reviews, and stories, I'm sure. And photos. And maybe some art.