Bits and pieces.

At the table

It was a rough weekend with a headache that wouldn't ever go away, but there have been so many brilliant moments all around.

I find myself speechless. And then I suddenly have a lot of things to say. But then I forget. Fascinating, you say. Yes, not so much.

I find myself having a lot of conversations where the other person is speaking only Thai, and I am speaking only English, and yet we keep on talking. It's as though we feel that the words will magically start making sense, if we just try long enough. I really like that about Thailand, how people (usually villagers) will talk, talk, and talk to me, though I cannot understand them.

I am fairly emotional and sometimes unreasonable, and that is a little hard to take, since I have felt some headway with my emotions in the last year. Now it's anybody's guess, and a joke with my Superstar Husband can turn into kindling in the blink of an eye. There is a little gnome who says, "Wait, you've been laughing about that for fifteen minutes, but actually, he's insulting you," and then Chinua's in danger of having a desk chair thrown at his head.

I fit so many pregnant stereotypes. I have cravings, yes, but my cravings have always fit the same pattern. Like this:

I'm eating cucumbers, let's say, since it happened just this evening that I was eating cucumbers. And while I'm eating cucumbers, I have an epiphany. Cucumbers are amazing. In fact, I hate everything except for cucumbers. If it's not a cucumber, you can keep it, it's dead to me, I don't want it.

And this goes on for a while until with a click of the spinner, I'm sick of cucumbers and I'm obsessed with watermelon.

In the middle of all my food drama, we're in our school year, while all around the internets, kids are on their breaks. We took ours in March and April. It's spelling and grammar, math games, reading, and Thai alphabet books all around.

Anyway, there are moments on headachy weekends and the following Mondays, when the social aspect of the internet begins to terrify me, and I have to work my way back by posting things like this. Little bits and pieces of nothing and everything.

By the way, you are the kindest people I've ever met. I love that I get to share this experience of a new baby here, in this very safe place.