Conversations with Kid A

Sometimes my son and I have "problems" with communication. It can be maddening. Here are some examples:

Me: "YaYa, be careful with the book!"
Kid A: "What was she doing with the book?"
Me: "She was rolling it up and folding it. She'll wreck it if she keeps doing that."
Kid A: "Racket? What racket?"
Me: "Not racket, Kid A. Wreck it. She'll wreck it."
Kid A: "It's not a rocket, YaYa. It's a book."


Me: "Come over here and put your pyjamas on."
Kid A: "Huh?"
Me: "Come over here and put your pyjamas on."
Kid A: "Huh?" Blank look.
Me: "Come here."
Kid A: "What are you saying to me?"


Me: "No, you're not having juice right now. You have juice twice a day."
Kid A: "JESUS when I DIE?"

Apparently at the young age of 3.5, Kid A has gone deaf.

Or then there's the boldfaced lie.

Kid A: "Something happened to YaYa."
Me: "What happened to YaYa?"
Kid A: "A woodpecker got her."
Me: "Really. Are you sure you didn't bang her with your head?"
Kid A: (sighs) "No. My hand broke off and flew over there and hit her in the nose! All by itself! And then it flew back over here and stuck on me!"

I can't believe the incredible things that go on when I turn my back for a second.