I am so tired...

...of allergies.  It's just an extra special two or three months where I get to wake up every day with a sore throat and a hacking cough, feeling like I still smoke when I quit nine years ago, trying not to rub my eyes because if I do they will become the flaming eyes of death and if they do- watch out.  Pity that these are also my favorite months of the year.

...of the oh-so-clever raccoon who knows how to get the lock top off of my garbage can, strewing trash all over the ground under my porch, making the area around my house look like a negligent person's adopted highway.  Like the red-headed stepchild highway.  (Although, personally, just for all of you red-heads out there, if I had a stepchild I would love to have a red-headed one.  And I'm thinking of dying my hair red.  What do you think?  Because I am not sure, but I am thinking about it.)

...of poo.  But I am not going to go there, because there is just no way to get away from it, so from now on I will sing a special poo song while I change diapers: "Oh I love wiping poo awaaaaayyyyyyy, it is so nice and reFRESHing... here's a nice clean BUM for youuuuuuu... now we dip the diaper in the TOILETTTTTTT... oh what fun, this poo-filled life!"

Comments

[carrien]

I'm cracking up from the poo song. YOu are funny. I think I need one too.

[Charlotte]

Me too with the allergies and poo. Don't have any raccoons in Germany.

I've been having acupuncture for the allergies, and I have to say it seems to be working.

[josy]

um, rachel? if you had a stepchild it wouldn't have red hair. unless it was dyed red. because i don't know if you've noticed, but your husband is a bit dark. as in not the ideal aryan. and his children tend to not have blonde hair. so if you suddenly discovered that he had fathered another child before meeting you, it likely wouldn't have red hair.
just saying.

oh, and don't tell him that i said he's not the ideal aryan. it might hurt his feelings.

[TalCatt]

Try having a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar 1-3 times a day for allergy relief. I take it straight (has a little bit of a bite, but I have gotten used to it now), but you can put it in a glass of water. I have been taking it once a day and have noticed a big difference. My 11 year old son has been taking it too; and it has helped him tremendously, as well.

[#1mama]

You're a crazy girl! Woman, rather! It's one way to get through the poo! I love the poo song too, although I would probably call it number "2" or "big job".

Josy is right you would probably not have a red haired step-child, although when I lived in Windsor, Ontario area there was an African-Canadian family that had a child who had blue eyes and red hair - so there you go!

[Rachel]

I'm tired of poo, too. Will it end? Maybe one day? Maybe when I'm a great-grandma, eh?

[Pamela]

Rae - Have you tried a netti pot for your allergies? It's this cute little tea pot-like thing with a long nozzle that you fill with salt water and then, um, well you stick it up your nose. The solution cleans out all the ick. It really does work and is available at most health food stores. Feel better.

[tj]

poo. I was in poo today. I steam washed the trailers that hauled all of our bawling baby steers away from their bawling mothers on our ranch. You know. Anyway, the poo was thick and dried on hard, at first, and then it splattered everywhere, on me. UCK! My husband said I was shit faced, but not in the traditional sense.

[tj]

ya know rae, I was thinking of you with red hair and thinking of you thinking about wanting red hair and then i read this poem and thought of it all again:

If I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be right
From mirror after mirror
No vanity's displayed:
I'm looking for the face I had
Before the world was made.

Yeats, from the poem: A Woman Young and Old