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Friday
Aug242007
When I searched for poo in my archives, way too many posts popped up
August 24, 2007
Sometimes when you go to your brother's wedding, there are festivities beforehand that allow you to see people whom you haven't seen for years, since you are a Canadian who lives in California. (Which is equal in ill judgement in a general Canadian mindset to maybe littering or breaking young trees for no reason. It's not that California is bad, it's just that the U. S. of A. is where Canadians go to sell out, like Jim Carrey and Michael J. Fox.)
Sometimes you are talking to one of your best friends from high school, and sadly you have lost touch, although he is still friends with your family. It is so good to catch up, and he is telling you about his new apprentice work. You are fascinated, listening intently, but your daughter runs up to you and wants your attention, which she communicates by plucking at your lip and then moving your mouth as if you are talking while she fiercely tries to tell you something. As if you listen with your mouth, and if it is not moving, you are not really listening, and you hope that this will not be a habit of hers, moving her mouth while other people talk like people do to you sometimes, making you extremely nervous and unsure of where to look, because their moving mouths distract you and make you stumble over your words.
But anyways.
She moves your bottom lip up and down as she states in her high squeaky voice, "It wasn't because I had to pee that I had a sore tummy, it was because I had to POOP!"Â You nod and say, "Er- okay, YaYa."Â And she can't stop there and she says, "And I POOPED and my tummy doesn't HURT ANYMORE!"Â "Oh," you say, and then you look at your old friend, who doesn't have children.
He nods and says, "Sometimes you have to poop because your belly hurts."Â Then he turns to you.
"Is that one of the cool things about being a parent?" he asks. "Focusing on the simple things? Like poop?"
You think for a minute and then say, "Is it ever."
Sometimes you are talking to one of your best friends from high school, and sadly you have lost touch, although he is still friends with your family. It is so good to catch up, and he is telling you about his new apprentice work. You are fascinated, listening intently, but your daughter runs up to you and wants your attention, which she communicates by plucking at your lip and then moving your mouth as if you are talking while she fiercely tries to tell you something. As if you listen with your mouth, and if it is not moving, you are not really listening, and you hope that this will not be a habit of hers, moving her mouth while other people talk like people do to you sometimes, making you extremely nervous and unsure of where to look, because their moving mouths distract you and make you stumble over your words.
But anyways.
She moves your bottom lip up and down as she states in her high squeaky voice, "It wasn't because I had to pee that I had a sore tummy, it was because I had to POOP!"Â You nod and say, "Er- okay, YaYa."Â And she can't stop there and she says, "And I POOPED and my tummy doesn't HURT ANYMORE!"Â "Oh," you say, and then you look at your old friend, who doesn't have children.
He nods and says, "Sometimes you have to poop because your belly hurts."Â Then he turns to you.
"Is that one of the cool things about being a parent?" he asks. "Focusing on the simple things? Like poop?"
You think for a minute and then say, "Is it ever."
Reader Comments (13)
I had no idea you are Canadian. Wow. That's killer cool. ;)
This post rocks. Poo is COOL.
Oh I love those moments, because I secretly hate how fussy and repressed we all are. I love the juxtaposition between some of my single, totally-in-control-of-everything friends and our messy, painfully honest, uncensored family. It's such a relief just to be open -- openly human, openly ourselves. I love that getting rid of a big "grown up" poop (as my daughter calls it), makes our girls so happy that they just have to come over and tell us. How wonderful is that?!
Never thought focusing on poop was cool during the diaper years. There was a 6 month span (not long when I look back on it now) when all 3 kids were wearing them at the same time and poop was a major part of my day. Yuck! When a stomach virus came through the house life was miserable. This post makes me laugh out loud now though, because at the moment all the kids in my house are big kids. Now if I could only get all of them to flush! :-)
I loved the line about how you stood there in awe, then remembered you are the mom. I do that too---see a huge mess or a problem and think somebody should do something. Quick!
Prime poo-talking ages are 3-5. After that, it goes from an interesting and compelling subject to something to snort and blush about.
Then, when you become a mom, it becomes interesting and compelling again (is my newborn's supposed to be that color? why is my toddler's poo purple?)
Well, did YaYa walk or cry down the aisle before the poo discussion?
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Hyundai
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There was this guy see.
He wasn't very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned "the facts".
Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,
"Son, when you get to the hotel room...Call me"
Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,
"Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?"
"O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me"
A few moments later...
"Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?"
O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then... Ah, call me."
A few moments later...
"DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???"
"O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom."
A few moments later...
"Dad, I've got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?"
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