Conversations with Kid A

Sometimes Kid A and I have conversations that make me wonder if I accidentally stepped into some other dimension when I had kids. I'd like to share a couple with you.

We've been staying in my parent's timeshare on the harbour in Victoria, and it's a pretty beautiful place with a big sliding glass door that overlooks some boats on the docks.

Kid A: "Can we ride in one of those boats?"
Me: "No, sorry honey, those boats don't belong to us."
Kid A: "Maybe we can just go down there and ask someone if we can borrow one of their boats."
Me: "Well, it's not like at home, honey. We don't know those people. I don't think they would let us borrow their boats."
Kid A: "Weeelllll... We could just ask them what their names are."

I suppose that constitutes knowing someone, in his book. You can definitely tell the kid has grown up living in a community. We borrow things from people all the time, thinks he. Why not one of those boats? What a simple world he lives in. Excuse me, sir- do you mind if my son and I take a quick jaunt in your yacht?


Last night we went out for dinner and afterwards Kid A had to use the toilet in a serious way. He sat on the pot and had this conversation with me while I stood and waited for him.

Kid A: "Mom, what are gargoyles?"
Me: "Gargoyles are stone statues on buildings, in France."
Kid A: "Are you in the next one (stall)?"
Me: "No. I'm waiting for you, are you done?"
Kid A: "No. Why do they like gargoyles?"
Me: "Because, well, I think they think they're nice." (Lamo answer, Mom.)
Kid A: "Do they climb up the buildings with their claws?"
Me: "They're not real, Kai, that was only on Dora."
Kid A: "Are you in the next one now?"
Me: "No. Hurry up, Kai."
Kid A: "Then what's that sound I hear?" (Pee is tinkling into a toilet. I hear muffled laughing.)
Me: "That's someone else, Kai. No more talking."
Kid A: "But the gargoyle said diamonds first..."

And on and on until I lost consciousness.