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Not cancer.
March 12, 2006 Not cancer. NOT CANCER.
John the surgeon walked into the room the other day and found five of us waiting. The littlest one could barely hold up his head. "I've got good news," he said. It's a good thing to hear first, unless of course he meant, "I've got good news- we're going to be seeing a lot of each other." Or, "I've got good news- more money for me."
But he said, "I've got good news, it's a benign follicular adenoma." And we all, except the youngest three, breathed a sigh of relief. No more surgery, no radioactive iodine, no synthroid, no six weeks of hell.
Thyroid cancer is supposed to be one of the easiest to treat. But you still have to drink (!) radioactive iodine, which makes you radioactive. For 24 hours you have to sit in your hospital room and only the radiation specialists can come near you in their special suits and so you have 24 hours of solitude, except you can't bring your laptop because it will become radioactive and you'll have to throw it away. So that sounds pretty much like misery to me. Then for ten days you can't be with your kids. Including your newborn.
I'm very, VERY glad that I don't have to go through all of that. I'm full of thanks and praise that I will be able to keep nursing Leaf, and that I won't be crying every day that I can't see my kids. I'm so glad that now I can let all of the worry go and just recuperate, wait for my neck to heal, feel better and better as my baby gets older and hopefully starts sleeping a little bit longer at night.
Here's a confession, though: I'm just the teensiest bit disappointed that I won't be able to write about it.
That is so sick. What is wrong with me?
In other news, we've been having freak snowstorms for the last couple of days. I honestly didn't know that it even could snow here. The weather has changed its mind every few minutes. One second it's raining, then hailing, then these big soft snowflakes are drifting down, and suddenly it's hard rain again.
Good weather for Killer Bunnies. The game that makes us all mad at each other.
Also, Leaf has crossed the threshold into Adorable Baby country. He smiles and laughs and lies on his back cooing. More than either of the other kids when they were his age, he seems to really want to talk to me. His little face is so intent, as if he just thought hard enough, he could make some real words come out. He loves the strangest things. A dark sock hanging off the edge of the white metal posts on the bunk-bed gets half an hour of cooing and smiling out of him. We call the lamps his "friends" because he loves to talk to them and listen as they talk back to him. Who are you talking to, Leaf? Are you talking to your friends again?
Life is good. My neck is healing and I can move it again, I don't have cancer and my family is amazing. Our house will be done by the end of the month and we'll have more space. The fact that it's snowing can't change the fact that it's the middle of March and Spring has to come sooner or later. So... why do I feel so depressed?
Mama Stuff, Wonderful 
Reader Comments (7)
praise God!!! too many times bad things happen to good people, and it is a huge relief and joy to know this one passed you up... as far as the depression thing goes, i know you know, or at least you must remember what you would always tell me, about how hormones really do a number on you... and that this too shall pass... but i will say, hang in there girl... you're a trooper, and an amazing woman... and at least you can see that it's not all bad.... that's got to count for something right? i love you and will continue praying for you
Really, what a wondrous God we have and while crazy experiences add to the treasury that we can pull from to share through art with other people, I'm glad this one's passing you by.
Just want to share a beautiful thought written by George Macdonald that my sis shared with me when I was going through a depressing time.
"When I can no more stir my soul to move,
And life is but the ashes of a fire;
When I can but remember that my heart
Once used to live and love, long and aspire--
Oh, be Thou then the first, the one Thou art;
Be Thou the calling, before all answering love,
And in me wake hope, fear, boundless desire."
We are all glad here in my house to hear that you are ok. We have been praying for you and waiting to hear the results. I can imagine it is a huge sigh of relief.
Praise God! I'm so glad to hear the good news. And I'm excited for you to finally get into your new place.
Blessings,
Rebeca
We too rejoice with this news! One day at a time sweet Jesus one day at a time.....that's all you have to do, and I know that you can. You are an overcomer!!!!
Such wonderous and blessed news. NO CANCER! On the depression, I'm on meds myself for this very thing, so I wouldn't want to superimpose my situation on you. I would only say that if it persists, keep praying, and He'll show you the way. Again, great news.
Wow, that is awesome news.
I have a thyroid "tumor" that I had biopsied two years ago. I take Synthroid to try to suppress it's growth. So far it has stayed the same size and I haven't had to have my thyroid removed.
How cool would it have been to be able to sing the song, "I'm radioactive" ;-) Not serious ofcourse, just sharing my dark humor.