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Friday
May182007
Why not to let your sarcasm run free
May 18, 2007
What could someone be searching for when they google "poo filled diaper". I'm always amazed by how many of the searches that reach me have something to do with poo. Once someone searched for "taking a poo on the toilet", and found me. You know you're profound when the poo searchers are hitting your site. But really, what are they trying to research? Which reminds me that once I got a couple of comments from a highschooler who was trying to research amoebas and reached my post "the amoebas are lovely under here", only to find that it wasn't about amoebas, and use three different names to comment that I should have posted about amoebas. I thought it was pretty funny.
Oh, and by the way, if you are ever in doubt about whether racism is alive and well today, just check out the comments on any Youtube video about any racially potent topic. Good GOLLY, people say some wack stuff.  I get so used to the respect that commenters have in our blogging community that I am always shocked by the comments on a lot of news sites or Youtube. One time I tried to enter the fray because I was all riled up, only this was about child-hating, not racism, and against my husband's advice I entered a conversation with some really hurtful people. DID NOT WORK. I saw right away that I should have taken his advice. And I was mad, so my comment was sarcastic, but basically some people were making very rude statements to the effect that parents shouldn't take their kids out based on their inconvenience to other people. I think they used words like "snotty-nosed brats", and "little animals". So I just sort of made the point that maybe we should start a society where we remove all inconveniences, like those bratty little kids who can't keep their annoying voices down, and yeah, while we're at it, elderly people can't seem to pull their own weight, either. And what about those disabled people? If we get rid of all of them, we'll have a great time! No one to inconvenience us.
Yes, I realize that my comment was slightly inflammatory. And it made not a whit of difference to people who already had their minds made up. And the ringleader of the mean people said that I called him a nazi. Which I guess I did, in a way. But he was talking like a nazi! You can't call children little animals that should be kept in cages and insinuate that mothers should stay inside with their children for the first five years of their lives without running the risk of being called a nazi! Thus, my first and only foray into a comment beat-down.Â
But isn't it true? There is a bell curve in the village that is society. In the middle are those who have grown up, who can keep their noses clean and make their own beds and grow food for all of us to eat. On either end are those who take more care, who need help and nurture. On the beginning end are those who are being raised, who will one day turn into the food growers. And on the other end are those who should be reaping the rewards for their years of labor, who deserve to have their bed made for them and even to be tucked in between clean, fragrant sheets. I think that as long as our culture is youth-driven and self-serving, these people in our village will be disrespected.Â
The conversation I was part of was about the child-free movement. I don't personally have a problem with people getting together with other people like them. If there is anything that I've learned from community, it's that it's hard for single people to live with us, these big crazy families with all the poo. But we've seen that it IS possible, that you can live together in love. And I DO have a problem with hurtful attitudes towards the ones who should be cherished and protected in a society.Â
Chinua and I take great care to cultivate our kids' respect of adults and behavior in public places, and I totally understand that it is really hard to be around little energetic beings who have no governor on their emotions. But I think that all it takes is a little bit of teaching and a little bit of grace. Wait, make that a LOT of teaching and a LOT of grace, I'm sorry, I forgot what I was talking about for a minute.
And wow. Rabbit trail. I love coming here and just letting my mind run.
***
I realize that I kind of left you hanging with the whole Turkey thing. I was left hanging there for a minute, wondering whether I would be able to go or not. And, unfortunately, this time it's not. I will continue to hope for the future, though, that Chinua and I will once again be able to run around the world together. He is flying out tomorrow, leaving from here today, and he'll be gone for two weeks. Oh, my Superstar Husband. I will miss him.Â
I'm heading up to Canada to visit my family within the next few days. I'm driving by myself with the kids, which many people have expressed shock over, but we'll take it in two chunks with a long stop in between, and have you ever tried to make it through airline security with three little ones? Plus, I love driving, love the stretches of field, the road long and wide. The kids do really well, too. It feels like an adventure.Â
(You know what doesn't feel like an adventure? Packing. Groan.)
Oh, and by the way, if you are ever in doubt about whether racism is alive and well today, just check out the comments on any Youtube video about any racially potent topic. Good GOLLY, people say some wack stuff.  I get so used to the respect that commenters have in our blogging community that I am always shocked by the comments on a lot of news sites or Youtube. One time I tried to enter the fray because I was all riled up, only this was about child-hating, not racism, and against my husband's advice I entered a conversation with some really hurtful people. DID NOT WORK. I saw right away that I should have taken his advice. And I was mad, so my comment was sarcastic, but basically some people were making very rude statements to the effect that parents shouldn't take their kids out based on their inconvenience to other people. I think they used words like "snotty-nosed brats", and "little animals". So I just sort of made the point that maybe we should start a society where we remove all inconveniences, like those bratty little kids who can't keep their annoying voices down, and yeah, while we're at it, elderly people can't seem to pull their own weight, either. And what about those disabled people? If we get rid of all of them, we'll have a great time! No one to inconvenience us.
Yes, I realize that my comment was slightly inflammatory. And it made not a whit of difference to people who already had their minds made up. And the ringleader of the mean people said that I called him a nazi. Which I guess I did, in a way. But he was talking like a nazi! You can't call children little animals that should be kept in cages and insinuate that mothers should stay inside with their children for the first five years of their lives without running the risk of being called a nazi! Thus, my first and only foray into a comment beat-down.Â
But isn't it true? There is a bell curve in the village that is society. In the middle are those who have grown up, who can keep their noses clean and make their own beds and grow food for all of us to eat. On either end are those who take more care, who need help and nurture. On the beginning end are those who are being raised, who will one day turn into the food growers. And on the other end are those who should be reaping the rewards for their years of labor, who deserve to have their bed made for them and even to be tucked in between clean, fragrant sheets. I think that as long as our culture is youth-driven and self-serving, these people in our village will be disrespected.Â
The conversation I was part of was about the child-free movement. I don't personally have a problem with people getting together with other people like them. If there is anything that I've learned from community, it's that it's hard for single people to live with us, these big crazy families with all the poo. But we've seen that it IS possible, that you can live together in love. And I DO have a problem with hurtful attitudes towards the ones who should be cherished and protected in a society.Â
Chinua and I take great care to cultivate our kids' respect of adults and behavior in public places, and I totally understand that it is really hard to be around little energetic beings who have no governor on their emotions. But I think that all it takes is a little bit of teaching and a little bit of grace. Wait, make that a LOT of teaching and a LOT of grace, I'm sorry, I forgot what I was talking about for a minute.
And wow. Rabbit trail. I love coming here and just letting my mind run.
***
I realize that I kind of left you hanging with the whole Turkey thing. I was left hanging there for a minute, wondering whether I would be able to go or not. And, unfortunately, this time it's not. I will continue to hope for the future, though, that Chinua and I will once again be able to run around the world together. He is flying out tomorrow, leaving from here today, and he'll be gone for two weeks. Oh, my Superstar Husband. I will miss him.Â
I'm heading up to Canada to visit my family within the next few days. I'm driving by myself with the kids, which many people have expressed shock over, but we'll take it in two chunks with a long stop in between, and have you ever tried to make it through airline security with three little ones? Plus, I love driving, love the stretches of field, the road long and wide. The kids do really well, too. It feels like an adventure.Â
(You know what doesn't feel like an adventure? Packing. Groan.)
Reader Comments (14)
Perhaps those people who don't like having children inconvenience their lives should watch "Children of Men" or read the book. A world without children is a dark, hopeless world indeed, and I have never seen it so powerfully portrayed as in the images of that film.
Well, the good thing about those who want to be child-free is that, eventually, unless they come around, they will, by self-design, be gone... ;-) (Alas, I\'m sure that others will come along to replace them.)
I think you\'re right. Best to just stay out of it most of the time. Communities of like-minded people discussing their commonly-held beliefs do not usually go there to have their minds chnged completely.
Sigh. Sometimes I\'ll think of some of the truly vile ideas that get posted online, or of statistics like the shockingly huge number of people who frequent child p*rn sites, and then I go outside and look around at all the people I see... are these the same people?
Yes, there is no shortage of ugliness in the world. There are times I delude myself into thinking that if I'm speaking the truth in *love*, it has to sink in the hard hearts and open wide the scaly eyes around me. Nope-not always, even when dealing with other believers!
Something that may contribute to all the "kid-bashing" is the fact that people in general don't seem to expect their kids to behave much anymore. At the school my kids attend, the children are on the whole incredibly intelligent. But their behavior is unbelieveable! I'm talking big kids too, not toddlers. Not everyone takes the time needed to teach their kids how to be respectful of others. Selfish adults raise selfish children and we all suffer for it, don't we?
Hey, sorry you're missing this trip to Turkey. I admire you for taking the little ones on a trip by yourself though! Hope you have a great time with the fam. :-)
The whole 'child free' thing as a concept causes my blood pressure to rise instantly- I wouldn't even be able to engage in dialogue about it because my yelling 'You are so stupid you bunch of stupid heads just shut up stupid people' is not necessarily something something I want to delve into.
Out of interest, how long is this car trip of yours going to be?
People find your blog searching for poo but at least you have a word you can use to say what people are searching for. Some of the questions people ask that brings them to my blog I can't even put here. Really makes me worry about what kind of perverts are out there bumbing into me. And they're looking for pictures........
I'm with your husband, I know better than to engage some people into dialogue about something they are obviously so ignorant about. Narcissistic people aren't concerned about the inconvenience the world run their way might cause you. Or for that matter, where they might be had there not been any children in the world. The racists are the same way.
Hope you have a nice time visiting while your husband is in Turkey.
I don't know. If you're a mom and you write about your family life, "poo-filled diaper" is bound to come up sometime, right?
I don't think it's pointless to argue with people who's minds are set. Call it "planting seeds". They may not be open to your viewpoint now, but perhaps you've planted a little seed. And maybe, just maybe, one day they'll begin to see things differently. So don't give up and keep healthy debate alive! (Even though I know it can be draining.) Take care.
I enjoyed the hop. Good thoughts along the way.
Being childfree isn't a "concept", it's a life decision. Why it should raise your blood-pressure is a mystery. Why can't you conduct a conversation with someone who says, "Having children isn't part of my life's plan", without resorting to calling them a "bunch of stupid heads"? It seems to me that that's a pretty childish reaction.
Why is it okay for a woman decide to have child after child after child whether or not she can afford or care for them, but a woman can't decide "not" to have children? Why is one decision more "right" than the other?
It's telling on you that you can't discuss this without becoming so angry that it may send you into sclerotic spasms.
What's the problem with teaching your kids to respect others? Don't expect people to have "a LOT of grace", expect your kids to obey. You want to hang out in a room full of cockroaches all day? Well a lot of us feel that way about children. At least roaches are useful and eat garbage.
Another whiny HipMoo who thinks the world should revolve around her spawn.
"Chinua and I take great care to cultivate our kids’ respect of adults and behavior in public places, and I totally understand that it is really hard to be around little energetic beings who have no governor on their emotions."
English translation: "HipDuh and I think we train our little hamonkeys much more than we actually do. Why do those mean childfree people scowl when our little moondroplets are throwing food and screeching at the tops of their lungs in restaurants? They're just cheeeeldrunnnnnn!!!"
Oh, and Eva, I really appreciate that someone of your fine intellectual caliber is raising kids, I really do. After all, the Jerry Springers of the future will have to make livings, too.
I am ugly and have nearly no good personality because I was so abused as a child (by people outside my family mainly, but family was no help). I also have neurochemical imbalances which, while mild, eventually chase away anyone I date more than a few times. I just get moody. Nothing scary.
I have no chance of attracting a wife to have kids with. Am I a stupid head, too? Life has handed me some tough things and I'm sorry I was not up the task of overcoming them, but I try.
I don't think I should have kids anyway because I recognize I would not be a good father. Am I still a stupid head?
Oh, and Rae, most of those racist and hateful posts you see on YouTube or news sites are just dumb kids doing what's called "trolling" the internet. It's meaningless. Don't worry about it. It's the 21st century version of bathroom graffiti.
Ashley: I don't understand the connection with Children Of Men.
I liked the film a lot despite that it's politics got a little heavy handed at times. Some very well done scenes near the end.
But someone who thinks parenthood is not right for them personally is not saying no one should have kids.
As a counterpoint, you need to read the book "Freakanomics" which has some illuminating insights to the problem of women having children they don't really want. It's also just an entertaining economics book, which is a rarity. Ha ha.
risingrainbow: I think you are too quick to call people perverts?
Here is an article that shows what a problem that could be:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118903209653018615.html
Everything we do has consequences, intended or not. BTW, as an older single male, for reasons listed previously, I too face unwarranted suspictions just for being me.
"But we’ve seen that it IS possible, that you can live together in love."
As long as the childfree are more than happy to pay for others' child tax credits, schools, entertainment, etc. etc. etc.
"And I DO have a problem with hurtful attitudes towards the ones who should be cherished and protected in a society."
Hurtful!? Do you know realize many really, truly horrible, nasty children there are? And how nasty they are not only to each other, but to everyone else?? When I was growing up, I've had to deal with what felt like all of them. It was one factor in my decision to get sterilized at 27. Putting a kid in school is a great way of competely legal way to mentally and physically torture children nowadays!
I presonally don't care if someone has a large amount of children, as long as they do not expect everyone else to take care of them and/or pay for them, and they're nice kids. (Although nice kids nowadays are getting near impossible to find, and I also personally don't care if humanity itself dies out, either!)
But as a childfree person, when it comes to expecting the world to care and inconvenience themselves for others' lifestyle choices (and being truly disabled or eldery is NOT a lifestyle choice!!), I get pretty incensed myself.