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Tuesday
Jan122010
On pushing back hopelessness
January 12, 2010 "There is neither a proportional relationship, nor an inverse one, between a writer's estimation of a work in progress and its actual quality. The feeling that the work is magnificent, and the feeling that it is abominable, are both mosquitoes to be repelled, ignored, or killed, but not indulged."
"I do not so much write a book as sit up with it, as with a dying friend. During visiting hours, I enter its room with dread and sympathy for its many disorders. I hold its hand and hope it will get better."
Both quotes are by Annie Dillard in The Writing Life
You could say, that's how Rae's doing right now. She's working, trying to ignore insecurity or wild hopes and just write.
Also: We are having a retreat right now, with a few dear friends. It's been wonderful.
I've just had a plan that was in the works seriously crushed. I'm trying to remain positive but I'm feeling really down about it. Sluggishly moving through the day.
I miss my parents.
I've been working on the same post for four days, and even today I didn't have it ready. I have nothing, I am empty, I am curled at the base of a tree like a little fern frond, just huddled and waiting. I expect that good things are around the corner.
Really, I'm the blestest of girls, really, really. But sometimes down is just down.
Reader Comments (13)
When I see " a little fern frond, just huddled and waiting" at the base of a tree it brings me much joy and hope. Much like what I get when I read a new entry of yours or view your photos... it is ok to feel a little down, it is part of our humaness. I'm so glad you are on retreat, it sounds like your soul needs some pampering. Be good to yourself.
.-= lagata´s last blog ..http://lagata-adayinthelife.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-new-year.html" rel="nofollow">Happy New Year! =-.
"sitting with a dying patient." I love that quote. I've felt that way exactly more than I care to share.
.-= Green Girl in Wisconsin´s last blog ..http://melissawestemeier.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-almost-lost-myself-again-in-giant-box.html" rel="nofollow">i almost lost myself again in a giant box of postgraduate pomposity =-.
Sometimes down IS JUST down. It's okay, we all go there and we all come back. Blessings.
We miss you too, very, very much!
I am hoping that a little ray of sunshine finds it's way to the little fern frond soon. Until then, be kind to yourself.
Ahhh.. call it how it is for you at the time. appreciate your honesty. and hopefully can cheer you up with a stint on the Chronicles of Sharnia..... will get q's to you soon :-)
I missed you and am glad you are back. Yes, down is down and sometimes the reality of time seems to morph and it feels like a minute is an hour. It will end, friend. I love fern fronds. They can take the sting out of a stinging nettle rash. Hug.
The fern frond is a beautiful image.
xx
.-= suse´s last blog ..http://peasoupoftheday.blogspot.com/2010/01/escaping.html" rel="nofollow">escaping =-.
What Suse said.
Including the kisses.
.-= Eleanor´s last blog ..http://eleanorfromthecommentbox.blogspot.com/2010/01/mary-poppins.html" rel="nofollow">Mary Poppins =-.
Yes I agree with Laura - be kind to yourself.....day by day!
Who hasn't been there ...
Take it easy
Sorry for your disappointment and your stuggles. Sending messages to the King for you.
I feel you.
.-= Mountain´s last blog ..http://iamnotamountain.blogspot.com/2010/02/my-tribe.html" rel="nofollow">The Not A Mountain Tribe =-.