Old Standby

1. This morning when Chinua and the kids and I got into the van, to drive him to work, it looked remarkably disheveled. Enough that I remarked on it. I said, "Were you tearing through stuff in here?" And my Superstar Husband shook his head and looked innocent. And then I saw that everything had been pulled out of every pocket in the van, including the glove compartment. "SOMEONE WAS IN HERE!" I said. And so it seems that someone randomly decided to go through our van, looking for what, the Lord only knows. And the Lord forgives. And so do I, especially since it seems like nothing is gone. The Lord would forgive even if the van was gone, but if that happened, I know it would take me a minute.

2. Last night my little Kid A slept over at his best friend's house. I can't believe that he is old enough to sleep over. And he kind of isn't, really, except at the home of some of my most trusted friends. When Elena called me last night to ask if it was okay, I said, "Is it okay with me? You're the one keeping my kid!" She was wondering if he would miss me. I said, "Heck no. He isn't that kind of child."

And I was right. When I went to pick him up today, I hugged him and asked him how it went. He looked at me and said, "I didn't miss you." And I didn't say, YOU ARE NOT AT ALL CHARMING, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH. But I thought it. Why does it have to be this way? It didn't help that he cried all the way out to the car because he didn't want to come home. Why do kids have to be so immature? How about a little credit, kiddo?

We then proceeded to have an awesome afternoon doing school and reading and baking bread. Because life at home REALLY SUCKS, and we hate to be here.


3. And then I thought about it, and how Kid A had plaintively said, "I don't want to go home and be all by ourselves!" And I responded, "You have TWO siblings and one on the way and you're ONLY FIVE." Elena said, "You don't really know what it means to be by yourself.

But I realized, as I was driving home, crying for about the seventh time today because of my intense longing for the Land, that we are all transitioning. This boy of mine has lived his entire life with other people in and around and through and on top of all of the different houses that we've lived in. No wonder he feels like it's just us. This is very different. We all need grace, here. GRACE! GRACE! Like that.

4. Tonight I made White Bean and Butternut Squash Soup and I'm linking to it because you helped me out and I will return the favor. I LOVED IT. The kids weren't wild about it, but I made them eat it anyways. And we made bread to go along with it. It was actually really easy, and I used dried white beans that I cooked all day in the slow cooker, rather than canned beans. A word to the wise, though, from a learning cook. If it says 19 oz of canned beans, that is not the same as 19 oz of dried beans. Because, you know, they grow. So, I think we may have this soup again soon, since I have these beans and half of a butternut squash left.

If you make it, put the parmesan in! And toast the pumpkin seeds! You will not regret it. I was going to take a photo, but then found that my Superstar Photographer husband had taken the camera. AGAIN. I honestly am beginning to believe that I need my very own. Two photographers is one too many for one camera.


5. Chinua is working late and after the kids go to bed (in twenty, no, nineteen minutes), I'm going to knit and watch "13 going on 30" because I deserve it.