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Tuesday
Feb242009
I should link more than I do. Sorry bout that.
February 24, 2009 
This was going to be a different kind of post, but before I got back to the computer, my husband talked me down out of my tree. I don't call him a Superstar for nothin. Superstar Husbands can talk their wives who are suffering even out of banyan trees, even with vines so vast and branchlike that almost a wife could just disappear. Or turn into a Langur monkey and go loping off into the distance.
I'll just say that Post Partum Depression sucks. And it's so much better now than with the other sweet babies, so really I am so, so blessed. But life has lost a lot of its taste, and the space from peace to stress is small and puny.
I'm biding my time. I know it can't last.
Meanwhile, I'm reading The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to Kid A and YaYa and they hang on every word. There's not much that's more rewarding to me than reading a book that I LOVE to my kids.
I've been admiring the art of Bill Peet. Sometimes I think that what I'd REALLY like to be when I grow up is an illustrator.
We are awash with Canadian girls, in this here community. Two wonderful whippersnappers arrived a couple of weeks back, and Becca arrived a couple of days ago, so now there are four of us Canucks hanging out with three Americans (six, if you count the kids, only six because who knows what Solo's nationality really is) and our friend Miriam, who is German. Our community and meditation practices are taking shape more and more, a pool that is so fun to splash around in.
Solo's thighs are delicious.
Renee teaches West African dance on the beach on Wednesdays and it's so fun.
And my irritation and dryness and itchiness when I have to sit anywhere for any length of time, my lack of enthusiasm, my lines of sadness. They can't last.
Reader Comments (13)
I'm really sorry about your PPD. had it with all my kids too, and it's so overwhelming. Everything is overwhelming. I hope it's over soon.
I am so sorry. I remember well. I really had it bad with my 4th....not sure why. But I remember the cloud lifting and the joy of feeling like myself again. Priceless.
It will lift for you soon......just keep kissing those thighs and hang tight to the Superstar.
They won't last, and you're way ahead of what you've been. Wow, Solo's 6 months old (is he really) so it won't last forever.
Wish I was the other Canadian hanging out with you guys!
I really look forward to hearing more about your intentional community practices...it's really fascinating. Gentle (((HUGS))) for the PPD.
I don't know what your going through....
But I am ever pleased to know that when I do, you will know what I will be going through. Thinking of you sister. even more so now that Matty and I are beginning our planning for delicious little baby legs.
You rule and I love you.
Praying that life tastes sweet again soon.
So glad you have such wonderful husband to talk you out of that tree- you're too lovely to be a Langur monkey afterall. Oh and how great that your sister is there with you now! Yay for sisters! Praying for you still...
I'm glad you have a tree to go up
You are right it won't last
Dances on the beach sound very nice
It will last. You know it will. It will. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.... NOT. I hope that made you smile a little. You have so many incredible changes, wonderful and I am sure terrifying at the same time. I am glad that you realize that it will pass and that it is ok to be up in a tree for a while, it helps our superstars feel useful :-) Blessings and Peace to your soul.
Tj's comments are always wonderful!!
This post makes my heart ache because it so familiar....
Rae, I am so sorry you feel this way. As someone who doesn't have any vested interest in telling you this, since I only know you through your beautiful writing and sharing, you are obviously an exceptionally strong, vibrant, beautiful woman. I hope and pray for you that you feel well again soon.
Love,
Noha
Sorry to hear that too, and hopefully things will get back to normal and very happy soon.